You're welcome Merries59.
Programming, like modelling, is a specialised skill in itself. Understanding API functions is one thing but being able to program well in an object oriented way and turn requirements readily into working code requires experience and plenty of it. Besides, not everyone is cut out to be a programmer in the same way that not everyone is cut out to be a 3D modeller, musician and so on.
Giving your game identity and appeal requires customisation as you suggest which is why any attempts at providing pre-built game engines which require little to no programming usually fail as you just end up with variants on the same theme.
Get yourself a good programmer and with your combined skills anything is possible. I appreciate finding one is not so easy. Putting together a good game design presentation along with examples of your skill sets will help attract coders.
Although most coders have a slight advantage, in as much as it's easier to produce a good working game with minimal artwork than it is to produce a good working game with minimal code, sooner or later most coders will be looking to team up with an artist too ... as most programmer art looks like crap lol
kreathyon has just announced he's abandoning his project due to being unable to find a programmer. As he's clearly a talented artist I hope that's enough to encourage some coder/coders to contact him and offer help.
You clearly have some experience of coding which will help a lot when working with a programmer. The converse is true also.
Esenthel is a great engine to work with. The most stable engine I have ever used, functionally rich, well implemented and supported.
Game design and development is hard at the best of times and you'll face many hurdles so you need to believe in yourself and your ideas. However, be prepared to compromise a bit to get other people on board.
I wish you luck